Fear of Success has been out for a week and hopefully you’ve given it at least one listen. If not, this post will do nothing for you so why don’t you click the big-ass button above and download it? At least stream it on Bandcamp or YouTube. I truly could not have made this easier for you.
Anyway, this post is the first in a 14-part series I’m going to be writing throughout the summer to unpack and comment on each of the songs on the album. Let’s start at the very beginning with “Rush Hour.” Listen to it again if you need a refresher.
Overview
The song was produced by Chris Prythm for Ill-iteracy and, like every song on the album, it was mixed by Dan Bouza and myself. The single art was created by Andrea Malatesta. She took the photo while the car was completely in park, in front of my house. We had an alternate photo we were going to use for the remix cover, then I wanted to use a picture of a tire that blew out on me. Finally, on the day we released the remix last week, we decided on the final design which I couldn’t be happier with. Between both covers and the “Perfect for Me” video, my 2004 smoke gray Chevy Impala LS is seeing more action than most cars its age.
Why did I choose it as the lead single?
I knew I wanted “Perfect for Me” and “Battle Rap” as singles but I didn’t want to lead off with either. “Perfect for Me” is an excellent song but it’s too emotionally charged to be an introduction to an album that also has songs about doughnuts. Meanwhile, leading off with “Battle Rap” would give the impression I am a novelty. I already knew this would be the first song on the album. Once I settled on the name Fear of Success, I wanted the song to serve as a proper introduction so I included the title in the lyrics and, while recording, adlibbed the outro. Actually, the intro was also adlibbed now that I think about it. It introduced the project so well, I decided I wanted it to be most people’s first exposure to the album as well.
Rawhide actually hated this song when I first sent it to him. He said it was too noisy. After three or four listens, however, it became one of his favorite songs on the album and that the fact there is so much going on with the instrumental speaks to the chaos of the morning commute. I think that’s what I intended(?) Glad he came around to appreciating it because I was already planning the remix by that point.
The Remix
Funny story about the remix (it’s not actually a funny story): the computer I wrote it on, which I’m also currently writing this on, is a piece of trash that bluescreens regularly. It has been a lot better since I’ve been saving absolutely everything to the D drive and just letting Windows run on C, but you don’t care about that. Anyway, I save all of my Fear of Success stuff in a particular couple folders. I had to do a system restore so I backed up those folders. However, the “Rush Hour RMX” was never intended as a Fear of Success song so my lyrics were never saved in one of those folders.
Thus, I lost the lyrics. However, between old handwritten sticky notes I never threw out, Piriform Recuva finding an in-progress version and my memory not being completely shot, I was able to salvage most of the verse in its original form. Rawhide was originally worried his verse focused too much on the morning part of the song. It actually worked out perfectly: he wrote about getting up, L One wrote about the commute, and Hired Gun and I wrote about the work itself. It’s like the different parts of the same story being told from four unique perspectives.
Commentary
We’re going to do this Genius style. I’m going to write commentary about select lines that have some sort of backstory. Except, unlike Genius, you’re not going to have to sign in to fucking read it.
“What to take for the lunch break? Roast beef or heat the chicken?”
Of course I mention food within the first three lines of the album. I bring a sandwich to work almost every day, toast the bun while heating the meat and cheese on a paper towel. Some have called me a sandwich artist, which I’m fine with because the next-closest thing I make to art is songs about being mad at cars.
“And I will get on route 7 headin’ toward exit 6 and 7”
Every day with this. Route 7 from Schenectady to Latham and then from Exit 6 to Exit 8A on I-87 (or as we locals call it, The Northway). As chaotic as that is, I’m going from city to suburb. I don’t envy anyone making the opposite commute at that hour.
“The creekwater flow is slow, it washes my worries”
A creek does run behind my dad’s house. That’s one of the things I miss most about living with him, but there’s a certain allure about being an independent adult. Also, I can always visit.
“Roll in six minutes late, someone took my spot
Park under the shady tree, shaking the angry looks I got”
I do have a favorite parking spot, under a tree, but some other guy who works in the building but not for the same company started taking it. It’s not even close to the building but it was mine.
“Is that your Chris Tucker impression Dan? Man, you’re whiter than Lifehouse”
I actually still work with and share an office with the Dan who inspired this line. Different Dan, not Bouza who mixed the album.
“Is you might fit in a bike ride before the daylight dies”
I love biking. Some day I’ll share my biking playlist on here.
“You’ve got 5000 in the bank to buy equipment with”
Savings account. I have a lot more in my checking.
“All you gotta do is get over the fear of success”
Looks like the last time I modified the lyric file was June 22, 2013. I know I wrote this line after I decided on the Fear of Success title, but the second of the breakups which inspired that title happened on June 13, 2013. That means I decided on the Fear of Success title some time in that nine-day period.