I debated excluding this song from the album. A lot.

This is probably going to be the longest Rootbeer Report because, well, you deserve an explanation. Here it is again in case you forgot why you deleted it off your phone or whatever it is you kids listen to music on these days:

Overview

The beat came from the original batch that I took home from Rawhide’s in 2012. The filename he gave it was “D12 Type,” and I do suppose it sounds like something they would tackle. Like the rest of the songs on the album, Dan Bouza and I mixed it.

Is it too soon to get off-topic?

The entire thing is a parody, which is (or should be) made obvious by the line “I don’t really feel that way, but because of the amendments I’ll make a whole career out of being offensive.”

See, when I used to do shows (which I’ll start doing again soon) people would request songs like “Drummin on da Pussy” – over-the-top music I made purely for fun. Those songs received a disproportionate amount of attention and that affected people’s overall perception of who I am as an “artist” (quotes used to stress the word being used lightly). I was doing shows for crowds of only like a dozen people, yet still feeling that tortured dichotomy between performing what the fans wanted to hear and what I wanted them to hear.

I laid out my frustration over it years ago on “Moment 2 Breathe”

“They heard ‘Drumming’ so they wanna know how disgusting I can be
It’s inane to try to top it and insane because that record was nonsense
But they want it”

For the record, I never wanted to be a shock rapper. The reason I create is not to get under people’s skin, though sometimes I do it anyway. That’s how I have fun with my craft. As “Standing Around” makes very clear, I don’t go to the club to unwind. The chaos of the scene actually has a reverse effect on me, and the rare endorphin rush is never enough to keep me balanced. But creating music gives me that serenity.

I just released an album called Fear of Success with songs titled “Lost in my Depression,” “PTSD” and “Ghost of my Past.” Is it obvious enough that I’m not a particularly happy person? It’s therapeutic for me to turn those negative thoughts into something meaningful; and, for that matter, original. Hip-hop is depressed but I don’t hear a lot of artists tackling some of the topics that go with it like self-sabotage. If you put Joe Budden, Vinnie Paz and I in a room, you’d probably have every symptom covered. That is, if we didn’t just make each other sad enough to off ourselves. 50/50.

I’m trying to simultaneously fill in the missing pieces in my sanity and in the hip-hop genre. Walter Benjamin said it best:

“Writers are really people who write books not because they are poor but because they are dissatisfied with the books which they could buy but do not like.”
-Walter Benjamin, “Unpacking My Library”

Okay replace books in that with lyrics and you understand. Maybe I’m egotistical in thinking my experiences are worth sharing. Maybe I’m being overconfident thinking most of my songs have some substance to them, but I really wish someone said to me in my teenage years what I’m saying to you on this album.

I’m getting really off topic here. Let’s regroup somewhere around my approach to this song.

The Approach

The whole idea was to make a song as this persona that people think Rootbeer is. Not the fat idiot who quotes Walter Benjamin and is sad but the fat idiot who is also a homophobic misogynist.

It seems like every week a celebrity says offensive things, then tries to clarify and suggest they meant something else. I wanted to come right out and say the things that these artists are being accused of saying: all women are sluts, homosexuality is wrong. Then immediately follow that up with “I don’t really feel that way but…”

Offending people gets your name in a whole lot of people’s mouths, and running your own mouth is free publicity that is insured by our First Amendment. I’m saying what I’m saying in this song because I can. I’m not standing up for free speech, I’m being an asshole. And you should have a problem with that. Not because the words are discriminatory (though they are), but because they’re MEAN!

I am not an advocate for a politically correct society because I don’t believe such a thing is possible. We are all different; what we are comfortable with is different. However, one thing that hasn’t changed much is respect. If you use the wrong word with the right intention then you’re respecting someone moreso than using the right words but being a bigoted piece of shit. Patton Oswalt actually has a great bit about that in his latest special. Go check it out. Also, R.I.P. to his wife Michelle.

I guess, to summarize, I want this song to be seen as social commentary. We have freedom of speech and that is a beautiful thing, but why do so many people insist on using that for negativity? Still, I expect at least half the people who listen will not realize I’m asking this question, will hear “slut” and “faggot” and toss my album in the Shock Rap bucket it really doesn’t belong in (the only bucket it belongs in is the garbage can).

Album placement

It serves an important role on Fear of Success, representing the early morning at work when you are still groggy, un-caffeinated and bitter. Before you have some doughnuts. Before the mid-morning depression sets in (for me anyway).

Rawhide’s involvement

Everything about this concept screamed Rootbeer & The Rawhide Kid which is why I originally wanted to have a different guest on it. Like I said, I was trying to challenge people’s perception of me and for years you never saw my stupid, ugly face on a concert poster without his equally stupid, equally ugly face. However, the artist I reached out to could not deliver. There is no bad blood; it just wasn’t meant to be. So I stopped fighting nature and asked Rawhide to assume the position, then be on the track. His response defines who he is as a friend and as an emcee: he actually had a verse written already just in case I came to my senses. It was complete with the intro line “Offended I wasn’t asked to be on this track first” which was a slight jab at me for “snubbing” him. In the end it actually made more sense to have Rawhide on the song because I was trying to embody the bucket I’ve been placed in; a place my collaborations with Rawhide in the past are somewhat responsible for.

Commentary

SO GET OVER HERE BITCH I WANNA SEE YOU WORK

Full credit to Dan for the vocal effects on this line.

These motherfuckers are sweeter than Nutter Butters
But see we keeps it gutter, we’ll fuck your mother

I felt like I used the perfect level of snark in this verse. Unfortunately in my recording of these lines I named the artist I was originally going to feature. I don’t do punch-ins often but the delivery was too good to record over. “But see we keeps it” is a punch-in.

Sorry bucko but I don’t give a fuck if this chick is your slut mother
I’d still fuck her

This is an homage to “I’m Back” by Eminem where he says “Sorry Puff but I don’t give a fuck if this chick was my own mother, I’d still fuck her with no rubber.”

So get to your Twitter: hashtag Adam must be contended

The “bitch” at the end of this line was not written in the lyrics. For a word tacked on out of passion, it became quite the item of discussion during mixing. I asked Dan more than once to turn up just that word because I wanted it to be felt. The song focuses largely on generalizations and at one point I threaten to fuck the listener’s mother. However I never personally insult the listener. This was the last line of the last verse and my last opportunity. I had a split second to make it count. So I called you a bitch. What are you going to do about it?