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Role in the Album Concept
Listening back through Alternate Ending, “Before I’m Torn Apart” is one of those songs that exists mid-narrative. The people I wrote about in that song are ones I wanted to make amends with. Over ten years have passed since that song was released and my take on interpersonal relationships has changed. As you get older, the people you were once very close to will drift apart. I often make efforts to keep in touch with these people and many do the same with me. However, there are others who won’t go so far as to reply to a text message.
The strength of a bond does not rest on the shoulders of only one person. Therefore, I will no longer invest my time and energy into people who won’t give me even the slightest amount of theirs. Maybe that point of view is maturity, maybe I’m just fed up, or maybe – generally speaking – the former is a product of the latter. For the album concept, elements of my life falling apart, “Old You Back” represents interpersonal relationships.
The Elephant in the Room
With “Old You Back” I wrote three verses, one each for a person who I feel has let me down. One is an former friend, another is a failed relationship. However, the one that is certain to get the most attention here is the person I address in the second verse: Eminem. The Slim Shady LP is the album that made me want to rap. It forever changed my life. To this day I consider The Eminem Show one of the greatest works of lyricism in hip-hop history. Most would argue his subsequent projects were less impactful.
While I was not as moved by Relapse or Recovery, I still consider them well above average. I frequently defended Eminem in rap discussions. For example, disgruntled fans have used the “Italian sausage” line in the third verse of “Legacy” to argue that he has no content. Aside from that line, however, the song is incredible! To say he lacks content because you choose to overlook it is not critical analysis, it’s hating, plain and simple.
Then Shady XV was released…
While the project does boast some solid tracks like “Guts Over Fear” and “Detroit vs. Everybody” (with arguably Big Sean’s greatest verse ever), others were completely indefensible. “Right for Me” is perhaps the living embodiment of everything the disgruntled fans had been saying about him. I dare anyone to explain to me what the song is actually about. Not only is it nonsensical, but he uses an awkward, offbeat flow and delivers his verses with aimless anger. I felt let down; not that I was owed anything. It was just odd watching him morph into the exact definition of what he had been accused.
Still, I kept this disappointment to myself. That is, until Joe Budden released “Slaughtermouse.” If you haven’t heard that song, Joe essentially unloads his frustration about not really benefiting from the Eminem co-sign that Slaughterhouse got in the early 2010s. The song was done in a respectable way, not directly criticizing Eminem for Slaughterhouse’s lack of mainstream success, but asking for guidance in an industry that is largely unrecognizable from the era when Eminem dropped “My Name Is.” After hearing that song, I felt that if I could be respectful about it, I could vent my own frustration on wax. The point I wanted to get across was – if Eminem were to become what the cynics say he is, will future generations even care to study his influence?
Writing & Production
I “produced” the beat – again “produced” in quotes because mixing and matching loops feels inauthentic. However, since it is a direct sequel and I “produced” the first, it only felt right to make this one the same way, going heavy on keys, and ending with only said keys playing. The verses in this song are uneven in length – the first and second are 24 bars while the third is only 20. I did not do very many takes when recording the vocals. Since it’s one of the more personal songs on the album, the emotion came out of me very naturally.
Callbacks to Alternate Ending
As I mentioned, this song is a direct sequel to “Before I’m Torn Apart.” I wanted to make that very clear from the beginning – so the intro lines are an interpolation of the hook from that song.
Before I’m Torn Apart chorus:I watched you fade away // It breaks my blackened heart // Let’s go back to the start // Before I’m torn apart
Old You Back intro:You fade away // As I fell apart // From yet another broken heart // Now it’s too late to restart
One fundamental difference between the two songs is the people I address. Only one one of the people – the friend, who was the subject of the second verse in Before I’m Torn Apart – is also discussed in Old You Back. For this reason I made it the first verse. The first line of the song is exactly the same “It’s harder than you might think to summon the spirit.” Then the song consciously acknowledges it’s going to go in a different direction. Instead of “to gain the courage I needed to write these lyrics,” the second line is “but I don’t need courage any more, too apathetic to fear shit.” I also altered another lyric from the original:
Before I’m Torn Apart lyric: “Don’t want nobody, not even your chick friends to know what a back-stabbing prick you’ve been”
Old You Back lyric: “I said I wouldn’t mention your chick friends but they made your head sick, then you let this end”
Rawhide Report
I like how you constructed this song. Your verses and the order in which you’ve arranged them seems intentionally well thought out. I also appreciate how the content of each of the verses is extremely personal, but I’d like to especially commend you on that second verse. Although your second verse is the most accessible and relatable of the three, in terms of connecting with the audience, you still manage to make it extremely personal when you talk about how formative and influential Eminem’s first albums were in terms of your own rap career and your life in general; therefore tying everything all back together to the concept. I like how the final piano chord of this beat actually plays right into the beginning of [REDACTED]. Also shout-out for using the kitty voice in the third verse.